Saffleurs’ Musings

I read many books and usually I can knock out one in a week and move on keeping thoughts of the book in mind. Certain lines, memorizing it by only reading it once even. This book however has struck me something fierce and yet I do not know why. Or perhaps I do.

It is hard to say whether I do or not but after reading Nicholas Sparks ‘Dear John’ I simply haven’t been the same. I am a hopeless romantic at heart regardless of the cold nature with which I tend to present. I am by no means a soft person and when pushed or needed I can be the most disconnected person I know. Far more than others believe or think.

I’ve explained the circuit breaker thing before to people when it comes to my emotions. Now I see me doing it again and with good cause. Perhaps things aren’t meant to be how they seem. That is how I feel and that book has only helped bring to front the feelings I have, and do not have.

I’ll give a brief synopsis;

John enlists in the Military Services after getting his heart broken. On his six year stint he stays away from girls. He visits his dad who raised him as his mother had left. Meets a girl named Savannah and they have a fabulous time on his leave. Even so far is uttering "I love you" to one another. John returns to Germany and has two years left. In that time he comes home twice and the second time was around 9/11. John leads a troop of men so he re-enlists after his men do so. Savannah who is understanding let’s it go. During John and Savannahs’ first time together when they met Savannah a Psychology major felt Johns’ dad suffered from Aspergers’ disease. Which would explain the continual routine his dad had and his only obsession, coins.

When Savannah confronted John about her thoughts John got upset and to make a long story short he really did accidentally break her best friend Tims’ nose. Tim and Savannah grew up in Lenoir (where I live), and have been best friends for ever. John always knew how Tim felt but Savannah was clueless. Eventually their relationship became so strained, John in Iraq now and Savannah keeping her college life together that eventually John got a…Dear John letter. Savannah loved someone else and that was the last he heard from her for four years.

His dad died of a second heart attack and John came home for emergency leave. His father while having Aspergers’ had been smart. He gifted John all of his coins so when he died he did not have to pay estate taxes. His father even picked out his own coffin, and clothes.

While home John drove out to see Savannah with the slightest reason why he was doing it. He just did. As for the end of the tale I will leave it aloof but John reminds me very much of me and I will gladly admit that it is the first book in a long time in which I truly shed a few tears. It made my chest tight and throat dry. I swear I won’t read another book like it but only time will tell.

The book has made me introspective. Regardless of the fact it is fiction the book is so probable it is palpable and surreal at the same time.

I’m muddled and most surely on the same road John is on. I doubt that will ever change.